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The Monarchy

It's the Windsor Jubilee!
Let's Celebrate the Scam!

This year we are all celebrating the sixtieth year of Elizabeth Windsor as our head of state (HoS)! She inherited the job from her dad and has been doing it tirelessly ever since. Well actually as one of her former press officers said "The Windsors are very good at working three days a week, five months of the year and making it look as though they work hard."

We pay the lovely Liz more than £13m a year plus very generous expenses. But that's really not a lot for such onerous work. True, it's £13m more than the president of the USA gets. But Liz has a big family to support. And it's also less than we pay her son Charles. He gets around £20m. If you are wondering what job warrants this salary, it's the job of being the son of the head of state! That must be hard work too!

So, to be honest, Liz is not really known for hard work, as that's understood in the real world. But she does a terrific job of not saying anything embarrassing. And that's worth millions! If you don't think so you should listen to her husband. If the prime minister's spouse was half as embarrassing he'd have to resign.

"A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want." Mr. Philip Windsor, husband of the HoS, on the 1981 recession

"The Windsors are very good at working three days a week, five months of the year and making it look as though they work hard." Mark Bolland, former Windsor press officer.

 Poster advert for book of Lizzie photos
Poster advertises book of photos of Lizzie

Liz also makes life easier for all of us. Having her inherit our chief public office means we don't have the trouble of choosing our own head of state. You might think it's unfair that only members of the Windsor clan ever get be HoS. But you have to admit that it's a relief not having to think about who would be best at the job and not having to put a cross on a ballot paper. They warn us that if we were allowed to choose we might be so foolish as to elect Richard Branson, boss of Virgin. What silly children we really are! It's such a good idea to have somebody else make decisions for us that we might want to think about following the example of countries that have relieved their citizens of the burden of choosing legislators as well! After all, we've already got some hereditary legislators.

"The rule by spiritual leaders, the rule of kings or rajahs is now outdatedā€." The Dalai Lama

What's lovelier still is that they are giving us an extra public holiday in return for being such loyal subjects. And we do need a chance to relax and cheer her majesty. All the gloom about the recession, national debt and public service cuts is so depressing. Knocking £2.9m off the gross national product, as the holiday for the Windsor/Middleton wedding did, is small price to pay for the chance to show what loyal subjects we are.

Robbed of our rights. Robbed of our resources.
Let's celebrate!

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